Who’s on First, Anyhow?

5cc08-christmastrolleyI thought I would share one of the crazy scenarios of my daily life that occurred yesterday.
I was in a department store of sorts. I say “of sorts,” because it was a TJ Maxx store. (I am not ashamed to be labeled a ‘Maxxanista.’) Anyhow, I was perusing the handbags, and a woman passed me in the aisle. We looked at each other and smiled.

Several minutes later, we met up again in the housewares/gourmet food section (surprise!) and the conversation that ensued I will try to reconstruct as close as my brain will allow. Bear in mind I can remember details of having my tonsils out when I was under two years old, so my long term memory is pretty good):

Her: “Do I know you?”
Me: “I don’t know. Do I know you?”
Her: “I think I do…..but where…..?”
Me:  “Me too you. Hmmm…..”
Her: “You think you know me?”
Me:  “Well, I wouldn’t go that far……I mean, not KNOW-know, just, you know…(laughing at the verbiage)”
Her:  “Yeah. Me too. I mean (laughs) I guess I know me. I should by now, being as old as I am!
Me:  “So we’re talking about you knowing you, then?”
Her:   “Well, I probably don’t really know YOU. I mean, you know. KNOW-know. But still…….”
Me:  “Who’s on first?”
Her:  “First? On what?”
Me:  “It’s an old Abbott and Costello bit…….”
Her:  (Looks very confused)
We both stand in awkward silence for 30 seconds)
Me:  “So, are you ready for Christmas?”
Her:  “I’m Jewish but we have a Christmas tree every year. I call it a large, pointy Channukah bush.”
Me:  “Oh, that’s funny. My ex-husband was Jewish and he always had a tree and presents hidden under the bed on Christmas morning as a child.”
Her:  “Where’s he from?”
Me:  “Brooklyn. Lived on Ocean Parkway.”
Her:  “I know Ocean Parkway. My father lived there as a kid. ”
Me:  “Maybe your father was my husband. (laughs)”
Her:  “Wow- now that’s something to think about……”
Me:  “No, no, no- I was just kidding, of course! (laughs) Because then you’d be my daughter, and I’m not that old, and we wouldn’t be wondering if we knew each other. Or if we knew ourselves.”
Her:  “Oh yes. That. I feel I do know you. Maybe I’ve just seen you around…..”
Me:  “Well, that’s a distinct possibility, because I get around (smiles).”
Her:  “You just look so familiar to me…..”
Me:  “I can also get familiar. In the right circumstances, of course.”
Her:  (Totally not “getting” my witty banter) “Maybe…… do you ever go to California?”
Me:  “Every summer. And used to live there. Do you think……..?”
Her:  “Yes. Yes. I’m sure that’s it. It was in Long Beach.”
Me:  “No, that’s not where I go. In fact I’ve only been there once, when I took a cruise to Mexico. That was in 2002.”
Her:  “Celebrity?”
Me:  “Me? Nooooooo……”
Her: (laughing) “I mean Celebrity Cruise line…”
Me:  “I knew that. (I didn’t) I was joking. Yes, Celebrity.”
Her: “No. That’s wrong.”
Me:  “No, that’s right. Celebrity.”
Her:  “I mean that’s not where I saw you. It was more recently. Are you sure you don’t go to the Long Beach area?”
Me:  “I kind of know that about myself. I mean, you know, as far as I know me. Which is pretty well.”
Her: (sigh) “This is driving me crazy.”
Me:  “It’s probably that we’ve just seen each other around town. Do you live here?”
Her:  “No. (offering nothing further)”
Me:  “Where do you live?”
Her:  “Me? (duh) I live in Scottsdale.”
Me:  “Um. I thought you said you don’t live in Scottsdale….just now….?”
Her:  “Oh! (laughing) Of course…”
Me:  “‘Cause I doubt you live in this store….”
Her:  “I have it. It was last year at this time at the Friedman’s holiday party in Paradise Valley!”
Me:  “What was?”
Her:  “That’s where I met you!!! You were with………”
Me: (interrupting) “No. I don’t know them and I wasn’t at their party.”
Her:  “Are you sure? Because I’m almost positive that’s where..”
Me:  “I make it a policy to never drink so much that I forget where I am. Or where I’ve been.”
Her:  “Dammit. That was a great party, by the way. You would love Dodie.”
Me:  “Dodie?”
Her:  “Friedman.  She is so like you! Very witty and lots of fun. And I have a feeling you’re a fun gal.”
Me:  “I’m nothing if not fun. Personified. (laughs)”
Her:  “They’re on a cruise this year, but when they come back, we have to get together. I mean, you and Dodie and me. Lunch, or something.”
Me:  “Well, I love meeting new people. Sure, let’s do that.”
We exchange names/numbers.
Me:  “Well, nice talking to you. I have to run…”
Her: “Me too. Can I give you a hug?”
Me:  “I’m a hugger, and ’tis the season, so, sure.”
(Hugs)
We head off in opposite directions as she says:
“I’m so glad I ran into you again!”

“Again?” I thought.

Who’s on first?

(Reprint from another blog of mine from Dec. 2013)

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